Sometimes when I sit by myself I think alot about love and basically life once I'm all done with school and have started my career. I think about having a family, when I will get married, all these certain things. But theres one thing that really gets to me when I think about it all.... and that is the fact that everyone now days gets married and then divorced, or their having kids by themselves and those kids never get to see their father and/or mother. Look at what is happening to those kids, that single parent, everything. These kids grow up, they see it all, and most of all they miss out on something that they should have had to begin with. I am not saying by any means that it's the parents fault that it happens because I understand somethings just don't work out, but I am just saying all of this since I have a nephew who doesn't know his dad. It is sad watching him grow up and him thinking that every black man, or a Wal-mart greeter even is his dad. And especially explaining to him, or lying to him about it because my sister doesn't want him to know his dad.

Another thing that really bothers me with that topic is the fact that most people are so afraid to get married because that word MONEY comes up, and their main focus turns to "What if we get a divorce?"...look at all the time, money, and effort we'll have to go through. It's like love is love, you be with eachother to be with eachother, to love one another, not to worry about something that shouldn't even happen to begin with especially if you love one another, divorce shouldn't come up, but now days it's either don't get married or get divorced. And it scares me because being married and having that huge wedding is what I loved, and always dreamed about.

Just scares me to death because I look back and look at what I was raised looking at and love was everything. Love was going to war, sending letters everywhere, getting married young, doing everything and anything with one another, and still being together and sharing that same love/bond that every single married couple should. The years basically add up and they're still the same happy ones that they were to begin with, if not better. But I suppose times have changed, so I guess that leaves people to change. Just wish you'd see more people getting married, being in love, and having that family that all kids and people in general deserve. Not a single parent having to take on the big tasks behind being that parent, even though having a child is a blessing to most. I give alot of credit for the single moms especially, they deserve it all.

Just makes me ponder alot of stuff that has changed from my grandparents time, to my parents time, to now me and my friends, the most recent time. How time and money has taken over everything now vs. how it was then.

But, I guess I will get over it someday, and who knows maybe I will be the first within my siblings to get married since my brother is 34 and isn't yet, and same with my sister who is 31. It is a "little girl's dream".... to have that perfect wedding, and her perfect "Ken" doll.